Randa

...means "cycle, age" in Quenya.

Yesternight, I smelled autumn in the air. Part of me rebels, no, let not the summer be over yet! I have not enjoyed summer as I should have!

But I know... it happens, this time of the year. Still everything is green and abundant, but, it will change. I loved the good things of this summer - the lrps, Medieval Week, coming home, resting... swimming, walks in the forest and the general existance of the sun.

I'm not so well at the moment. Despite the summer having been filled with awesomeness, much of which is waiting in various unfinished posts, today, I couldn't bring myself to run all the way from the train to practice, which I usually do, unless my knees say no. I do it to maximise time, and I do it to get the exercise. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not because my body was complaining or didn't want to, but because in my head, a weariness had settled.
I know what the problem is, I daren't write it here for I know not who might chance upon it, but I know I must change it, and very very soon. But I'm weary. And I refuse to waste life, that precious little I have (after all, I'm bound in a human body and they have a limit), on... on... well. No.

But I've spent a lot of time at home, and with fox, too. That has been good. Also, last week, I brought out my watercolours, and my big, never before used, book with white papers. And I sat down, and I painted, and with a brief pause to go skinny-dipping in a limestone quarry under the stars, I finished it in one sitting. It was... magical. I enjoyed it immensely, though it was like learning to walk all over again. And it was a good one! I'll try and post pictures, if I get any good. My camera is acting up, singing on the last verse and all that.

Out of the blue I got a sort of apology, from one who hurt me once. I was MUCH surprised, and very happy. I hope that person will never make the same mistake. And I got some explanations, too, which enables me to see more clearly certain things. That was a very good thing, and I'm happy it happened.

It is autumn, yes, though I don't want it to be. Autumn, a time for endings, finishing, and in a way starting anew, though mostly for wrapping up.

Been reading one heck of a lot of Charles de Lint. Phew. My wallet is screaming in pain. "Dreams Underfoot", "Yarrow", "The Riddle of the Wren" and currently "Moonheart". "The Little Country" is waiting next, and I'm taking tours into anthologies "The Faery Reel: Tales from the Twilight Realm" and "Firebirds rising" now and then. It is a marvellous journey. I'm reading fantasy again! And such a brilliant author too. Now, I will go to rest again.


Shoulder is still being a bitch, I should have done my exercises more during summer, but resting, wasn't that supposed to do something for it, too? Apparently not, so four days a week of iaido, it's back to that, I guess! Oh, and they want me to, not only be senpai and help out... but to go "sensei". I'm not entirely comfortable with that...

Oh well.

...I miss being out in the forest with pointy ears. Steampunk in a few weeks, as sir Vincent, in all glory, sure... but... well, Naraiwë knows what I mean, I think.