Celva

...means "moving animal" as a general word, in Quenya.

Knot in stomach eased after a good practice. The knot, put there by knowing some people closer to me are not going to be together anymore (which makes me more sad than I can say, also seeing how I recently experienced something similar myself, I can say that I fairly well know at least how one of them must feel), by stress over my trip and by several other things, was a particularily heavy one. I am very relieved another keytimer could work next Wednesday, as I was more than a little stupid in not checking the date and day properly. Indeed, I could be called "blithering idiot" for less.

Yesterdays iai was great. Marvellous. I never have experienced my cuts to feel so (comparatively) flawless. Wonderful! Today's, a little less, but that's because I took some responsibility for the coaching of others.
The shoulder doesn't hurt very often any more, not after practice anyway. It might feel a bit tired, sometimes a wee bit sore, but no more than that. It seems it is starting to work out, which is such a relief.

Way too late to be writing, really. So much to do. But all schoolwork has been done, and the latest painting, if I may say so, is another little piece of greatness. To paint with oils is really, really fun. I like it a whole lot. Tomorrow will see me zip around like a kitten with quicksilver in its veins, but I feel on top of things, regardless. Great feeling. I only have to avoid looking at the lower part of my "To Do"-list.

Thought a little about my sweethearts. One is a little like the moon, shining very brightly, very focused and "there". The other is a little like the stars, shining less strongly from one point, but scattered, always there when one looks, brighter or darker and with a beauty a little easier to just miss.
Love them very, veyr much, and I am so, so happy, that they are a part of my life. Being in the presence of one doesn't diminish my feelings for any other the slightest.

Having said that, I must also say that it doesn't hurt as bad anymore, thinking about fox. I don't stop everything I was doing every time anymore. Just... most. I haven't quite accepted it, yet. But it is not as hard to repress. It happened, and, life moves on.


Scotland. You haven't been calling me as eagerly this time. Will you still welcome me? I might miss going to the west coast, but... I am sure the mountains won't mind me spending time there instead. Tomorrow, tomorrow. Will be interesting, trying to get my watercolour paints through security. Hopefully it works out. It's not like they're dangerous, little pieces of paint.

And no, I can't afford this. Not really. But I was saving up for a trip to Japan, and I can't just survive - I have to live a little, too.