The two trees

I'm not really sure how I am. Right now, at least. Expectant, skittish, bit of a travel fever, melancholy, happy, tired, confused, glad, calm, worried, in love.

So very much in love! The sun has been shining just like I feel!
Spring is here. Love it, but the winter... it would have been better had it started earlier and lasted a bit longer, or been colder. I worry. Nature is not well.
I'm going. Tomorrow. Leaving, to feel the road beneath my feet again. Dare not stop me!
Miss faun, terribly! Love it that he's so much awake now, though ^.^
Had a nerve-killing Sunday evening, but oh well, now I've told wolf most of what's been weighing me down. I am a bit more stable, too, this week has been nothing in the department of moodswings if you compare it to the two weeks before that. I survived, didn't I?
We are stable and all I can describe it with is "soft, calm, shining and very much love". I think. Uh, just look at the time and you'll understand why I'm so confused. I have to get up at around 7 am, too. Not far away, that. I'll be seeing darlingst liebe wolf for two hours this evening, too, which makes me all jumpy and smily and happy.
Had the best night tonight that I've had for a long time. I can't explain it, but I did sleep well and I fell asleep, woke up a few times in the night and then again in the morning with a smile. Sometimes, all I need is one-on-one company. No distractions, just a lot of tea and even more time.
Also, found the cutest mail ever from wolf in the afternoon.
A hug, to me, is worth millions. It can be the one and best way for me to go soft, calm and a bit happier.
I'm bringing three definitive outfits, and then some bits and pieces to vary and match. Had I gone anywhere else, except maybe to Gothenburgh, I'd have brought tons less. As it is, it's bloody Berlin, and with Paradiesvogel no less! I have about 1000 Swedish Kronor until next Friday, though, so, haha, no shopping. Who cares?
17 hours in a bus. With the Japanese standard? Easy. I can do that. With the standard I fear? Mweh. They better let me do my excercises and stuff, or I'll go craaaazy and bite their heads off. I need to get up and move about.
Bringing two mixes of music extra, one "To Berlin" and one "DarknGloooomy". Hopefully they will do. No Loreena, but ah well. Next time.
Will have hell to pay for not visiting home today or tomorrow - tomorrow's mother's birthday. Well, I hope she will be happy with the gifts, anyway. I like her, of course, in a way, but... she's just so difficult at times. But at last, someone said to me "I am sad for you, that you have such a difficult relationship with your mother." Thank you, wolf. I actually needed to hear that.
Am all a-rage about not being able to practice! Graaah, stupid ribs left side muscles thingie whatever! HURTS!
May be in over my head, but heck, if I could slither my way out of that back when I was around 17, 18, then I can bloody well do so now. Watch me rule!
I'm sleepy, and I'm worried, and I'm in love and I have no idea what I'm doing awake. But I'll be seeing a girlfriend that I miss LIKE HELL and I look forward to it so very much. Next up grandmother (when she lets me), Lund or Gothenburg. Yeep. Or maybe I'm going for a one-evening to Stockholm with wolf darling to see a movie, but that's just a minor incident.
Give me hugs. I demand!
Song of the evening, the ever lovely "Cé he misé ulaingt/The two trees" by Loreena McKennit. Very sweet.

Be back Monday. Bad idea to miss that first hour of professor Burenhult's lecture but what can you do? And apart from several moodswings nothing of interest has happened, except that I baked wolf a pie. He was very happy. I'll try to dream sweetly now. About cats, and cats, and wolves and foxes and sweet little lambs. I'm such a pointy-ear. Good night, all.