Interlude

Yah, things have happened. First crash; I broke and was brittle and could hardly stand. Second crash; I went a bit mad. More than a bit, I guess, and all the progress from the First seemed lost. Third crash; I broke down utterly. And then, I finally got better.

I take a very relaxed view to things nowadays. Everything, really. No must's, no but's, no have-to's. Someone cancels a spot of tea I've been looking forward to for a week? No problem, they probably had their reasons, and it's all right. Have to leave ten minutes earlier in order to be absolutely certain to catch a train? Of course I will, I prefer that to missing it entirely. Lots of things to do? One thing at a time, and one thing per day - any more than that is just a bonus!
Especially concerning people. I don't get worked up anymore. It's a conscious decision, but it's sort of seeped into my bones. And I'm not going into any kind of relationship as most people think of it, not at all, not any time soon. Hang out with people, be sweet with people, be physical with people, fine, whatever.... but define it as in any way a "relationship", I will not. That starts off all kinds of expectations, thought processes and other bad things that I won't be allowing. So, that sort of thing is Not Happening.

Trying to live a decent life. Trying to train as often as I can.


Tomorrow, I go in for some simple surgery. I'll be asleep for about fifteen minutes, no more, and it's just a standard "oh well we found something we might as well remove things as a preemptive measure just in case" thingie. I tried to find out if I could get them to remove my entire uterus, but that was apparently so non-standard that it wasn't even to be thought of... Pity, that. So, just some cleaning up to try and prevent any possible cases of future cancer. Which is good.

But I hear these things can go wrong, so, I figure I ought to say "heya, I was alive until about yesterday" in case it really does and I don't wake up.


That'll be enough, though, I think. Time to go to sleep.