Tië

Today's title means "path, course, line, direction."

I added a new link today, because I happened to stumble around in my link-collection and found it. Mostly, I find the quotes peaceful, not depressing. (And for more words, not only on the Gift, I go here). And I smile, knowing I'll take my grey ship when that time comes, and not have to carry around a mortal body anymore.
They remind me my wings are grey, and my ears not rounded.
And I have died so many times, and yet lived on - I do not believe every death takes something away until we are but shells, I believe we live on and it is mostly, but not entirely, up to us on what we do with the rest. Sometimes, the small deaths really take so much away that eventually, you are a shell. Sometimes, they lead to something else. But in all, you have an opening, that if you can, or choose, to take it, will lead to your learning something, learning, or becoming, or going on.
It is a difficult thing to explain - I mean, that if we do not die too much from it, then we are enriched. Sorrow, too, is beauty, is life.

But what hurts most is the death of love, and that death, I've never grown used to. I never will. I will mourn as much every time it happens. I tend to become enriched from it, to "learn", if you will. And I find myself in love again, eventually, and so far only one story did not end in crying, sorrow and a small death - it has not ended yet. But still I will love when next I can, for to not do so, would be a greater death and I would kill myself, if I did not let myself love.
Many small deaths, I choose, then, instead of the greater ones. And still I live on, and in many cases, I am much more now, than before I died.

And tonight, me and Iwhy will show the town how a lady looks good in black and lace, and I'll toast to Lacryma and Crüx, and tomorrow Rodiaud of Gotland will be back for a week - with a short break, when Kerael will laugh and smile, alone again but not alone anymore.

Anjie. I love you, my dear, though this week you will rest.
Kerael, you are so different from what I thought I once brought up, created. But still I laugh with you in your joy.
Rodiaud. You and I are, well, we're me.
Elenaria? That's me.

If I were not many, I'd be only one, and then, I'd truly be just a shell walking. Instead, I'm trying to live, and I'll continue trying, with possible intermissions when the depressions hit. But still. A cheers to faun, who helps me see the sunlight again.