Cuina

...means "alive" in Quenya.

...well, I will keep calling you to see, if you're sleeping are you dreaming; if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?

I've opted out of a lot of social stuff the past days. I spent a lot of time being unable to stop crying, and breathing sorrow. Then I passed through a phase of anger, and came out the other end floating among the splinters of ice, and not quite knowing much at all. I did get out of the apartment once, to take a long and very, very rewarding cup of tea with LittleSir. ...you know what? As of now, her nickname changes. It's going to Trollishness instead. If she's okay with that?
Anyways. A very good time it was. Felt like breaking through the surface in a few ways.
And then, I went over to Bob's and had a jolly good time with "Dynasty Warriors 6". We finished Zhao Yun's Musou Mode on "Master" level, and I think we got "A tactician of renown" or "A true hero of the land" as an evaluation, yay! We did a take on leveling Dian Wei up, to be able to finish his Musou Mode too (urgh...) but abandoned it as quickly as possible and had fun instead. I've missed playing with Zima Yi! This has got to be the game where he's got the very coolest weapon and attacks and movements. Then we tried out the "Chaos" difficulty level, and yes, it WAS hard, but I think we know how to beat it now! Am looking forward to play more, now that it's easier for us to have the time.

Also, started out on the art course. It's interesting and challenging already... even if it's a bit dry reading about various -isms, and the website was coded by a MORON. But I went through father's mother's old box with paints and brushes and things, and dear me, I to get a lot for free starting by using her old equipment. It feels very good.

Haven't been out of the apartment other than mentioned above. I will, I need to, but... I guess it's residue, eh.
Seems to be working fine so far to live with fox as friends. We don't get in eachother's way and all I need to do is remember to not plant a random kiss on his cheek and such. Well, almost all, but you know.
It still hurts. There's no getting around that. But it works, at least it works out. And despite all the bipolarity at the moment, I actually feel all right. I'm not dying inside anymore. Sometimes there're dizzying throws between sorrow and "in love" and back but it seems I can handle it fairly well. One just has to... you know, keep going.

Oh, what wisdom I share today! Well, let me remedy that by this excellent link. There's one person to whom this is dedicated, but I'm sure he's willing to share it with anyone who likes it as much as I do.